UNWANTED COMPARISONS THEY JUST AFFECT OUR HAPPINESS

Many of us don’t know how to seek happiness for ourselves and how to utilize it for our enjoyment. Often we don’t realize the value of what we have at hand and that it is a great opportunity to sustain our joy. We miserably lose this by an unwanted comparison with the status of the others around us. Jealousy creeps in unaware. This eventually begins the process of sorrow.

Some years back, many philosophers and historians jointly conducted a seminar in the U.S. The purpose of the seminar was to seriously study if we all returned to a family life pattern that existed some two hundred years back, would it be a better life than the present one. They had serious discussions on them.

In the contemporary family conventions, a young man at 18 goes out of the family in order to stand on his own legs. The father and mother lead a separate family. Even an informal meeting between the parents and the children is subjected to an appointment formality They hold talks only on appointment! They all meet annually on a “Thanks giving Day”.

They exchange gifts, have dinner and leave for the distinations at the end of the day. This culture brought forth an abominabe condition where in the parents at old age spend their days alone, without the love and care of their children. Such a practice is on the increase, which is an atrocious development immersing the hapless parents in eternal misery.

In order to avoid such a pathetic culture, what would it be, if we all returned to the family conventions that were in vogue some 200 years back? The main reason for this study is to find ways and means to return to the old ways  of peaceful life.

But do you know the conclusions of the study? Just as we are considering today whether we could attain peace by returning to the agrarian family life 200 years back, they also came together to study and find a solution for the family issues, 200 years back. They also arrived at some definite conclusions.

They decided that a separate family system alone would ensure responsiblity for each member of the family, which would bring out and improve their real talent. They would develop an ability to carry on, not depending on of others, till their death. They decided that this way of family would make a person perfect and complete and a noticeable change was effected 200 years back.

Even today we drive away our peace and joy by comparing ourselves with our neighbours or our friends. This reminds us of the adage “the other end of the river is always green”. The revolutionary poet  Bharathi Dasan sings in poetic eloquence.

“Hiding yourself in the blue garment of the sky, you show your face as the moon. Will the whole world die in the sickness of love if you reveal your whole self?

You are the lonely flower that blossommed in the sky.

Are you the golden pot that secrets milk? or the flow of eternal life?

Are you the fusion of brightness that appear in the red sun in the morning, coated with the snow?”

Quite contrary to the poetic exuberance of Bharathi Dasan, Neil Armstrong who set the first human step on the moon uttered these poetric momnosylabic words. “This is a humble step of a man, but a giant leap for mankind”. Are the two joyful responses of the two, the same? Armstrong cannot poetically describe the moon like Bharathi Dasan, so also Bharathi Dasan can never adequately represent the joy and wonder of Armstrong, on treading the first human foot step on the moon.

The exchanged roles might not make either of them happy. Because, one is a great teacher who draws lessons from nature, and the other is an adventurer who played with the space above the earth! Therefore it is better to enjoy everything from each one’s perspective.

The Americans who are known for experimenting anything after research, once conducted a research survey on 800 persons to find out 100 aspects that gave them happiness. The result of this study was that they all reduce their happiness to 26 per cent only because of unwanted comparisons. Each one has his own events, life, talent and opportunities.

If we compare these with those of the others only, inorder to come up in life, we may accept it. But why should we project a negative attitude with unwanted comparisions? Those parents who stifle their children with comparing the marks scored by their children with those of other children, should take lessons from this example.

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